As a wind blows quietly through you to break your heart.
I read an article, “8 things to do before you turn 25.”
“5. Stop hating yourself.”
I’m a person, and I’m trying. That’s probably all I can do.
And as you think about her leaning in to kiss some new face, in the same moment you sit on the bed in the guest room of your mother’s house, and you start to forget you have friends somewhere out there in the world that, for some reason or another, genuinely love you. You forget that life is more than just right now, and that how you feel right now, you won’t feel like that forever, and you probably won’t even remember it, and you will look back and laugh at the end of your 24th year of life, when you thought you were terrible and everyone hated you and really none of that mattered, because if you really were terrible, you probably wouldn’t care so much that you were terrible, and if everyone hated you, they probably wouldn’t talk to you. Or they would say they hated you. Or they would do that thing, that I feel like most people do, where they act really super nice to you and then pretend to spit on you as soon as you aren’t looking. sssllllalaaapptt
You’re a person, and you’re trying. That’s probably all you can do.
I’m turning 25 in less than 2 months. I will probably spend my birthday alone, but refuse to not get drunk. I may end up getting way too drunk. I’m turning 25 and I spend so much of my time trying to act like I’m 30. Not because I want to act like I’m 30, but it seems everyone I know acts like they are at least 30, and so I seem so immature by comparison.
Hey, world!! I’ve got nothing figured out!! Ya know what, I’m okay with that.
I want to fall in love with the moon and the sun and the air and I want to laugh louder than I have in a while.
Creating artificial circumstances to have staged conversations about real topics. Are we that starved for genuine human interaction? That we decide to fabricate the interaction, sacrificing the authenticity?
No filter, no filter, no filter. hashtag no filter. Jesus Christ didn’t have a filter. Not even filtered water. I think, probably…
When did I become such a cynic, when I used to love the world and everyone I knew and all I wanted was hugs and for you to love me to? And now when I look down, I start to think and frown. I think before I would hide it, because I wanted to be loved and accepted, and then I realized, I didn’t need. And I started to hide. But I still want love and I want to go to a vegetarian barbecue with a bunch of people wearing denim and smiling and drinking beers and laughing and singing spontaneously all together in unison, and we’ll all hug each other, and maybe there will be dancing.
The last time I said, “we’re going on an adventure. Why don’t we have adventures?” I had to go to the ER with my friend past 4 am.